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Dunno, mate, reckon it’s half glam, half dodgy. “Life’s a mystery,” film says, and escort’s that – ya never know who’s next. *wiggles brows, pulls goofy face* Fancy a giggle? Heard some escorts carry fake names like spies – “Call me Duchess,” she says, ha! Beats me real name – Mr. Bumbles or summat. *shrugs, spins, lands on bum* Ouch! Tell ya wot, rather chase tots than toffs any day!

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I rush out to help. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging cars and people. I get to the scene, and there they are—three cows just chilling in the middle of the road like they own the place. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Like, come on, guys! This is not a pasture! I grab my radio and start calling for backup. “Yo, we got cows on the loose! Send help!”

August 17 is National Black Cat Appreciation Day!