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Sex-dating’s wild, tho. You got catfishes, ghosters – freakin’ ghosts! One chick, we’re hittin’ it off, then poof, gone. Like, “Where’d you go, huh? Iraq?” Another fact: 1 in 5 profiles got fake pics – saw it on X, some nerd studyin’ this crap. Blows my mind. Happy? Sure, when it works – banged this one gal, real firecracker, no strings, just how I like it. “The rush of battle is a potent addiction,” like Bigelow says. That’s sex-dating, fam – addictive as hell.

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down Rua da Escola. It’s a nice street, all those trees and stuff. But then I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “I got you, lady!” So I help her out. Turns out, she’s got a pet parrot named Paco. This bird starts squawking like it’s auditioning for a musical. I’m cracking up. The lady’s all, “He’s just excited!” I’m like, “Yeah, I get it. I’d be excited too if I had a free ride.”

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