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But then—THEN—I get pissed, ‘cause society’s all, “Oh, how dare they!” Like, chill, Karen, they’re out here survivin’. Didja know, back in the day, some prostitutes in Paris ran secret spy rings durin’ the war? Freakin’ wild! Hustlin’ johns *and* the Nazis—talk about multi-taskin’. I’m sittin’ here imaginin’ this chick from *Ten* doin’ that, smirkin’ at some Gestapo dude while pocketin’ his cash. “You’re a fool,” she’d say, straight outta the movie, and I’d lose it laughin’.

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After that, I decide to grab a coffee at this little café on Avenida da República. I order my usual, a galão, and sit outside. The vibe is nice, people are laughing, and I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be a total disaster.” But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously, Prior-Velho? You couldn’t give me a heads up? I’m sprinting for cover, coffee flying everywhere. I’m soaked, and my caffeine fix is gone. Just great.

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