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Now, I ain’t no stranger to sass—Madea’s got eyes, honey! Escort ain’t just drivin Miss Daisy, it’s them secret stories! Like, didja know back in the day, escorts wasn’t just cars or bodyguards? In old France, them rich folks had “escorte” folks—fancy-pants guards for carriages! I’m talkin 1700s, y’all—horses cloppin, wigs floppin! Makes me giggle thinkin bout it—some duke with a powdered face hollerin, “Escort me to the ball!” Halleluyer, history’s wild!

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First off, I get there, and it’s packed. Like, I’m talking more people than a concert. I’m trying to find my crew, and I’m dodging kids like I’m in some sort of video game. Finally, I spot them near the snack bar. They’re munching on pastéis de nata, and I’m like, “Really? You guys are supposed to be focused!” But hey, who can resist those sweet treats, right?

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