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What gets me riled up? Cheap parlors promisin “happy endings” but deliverin nothin but greasy hands and awkward silence—fuckin rip-off! Had one chick, swear, she rubbed my back like she’s sandin wood—ugh, no finesse! But when it’s good? Oh, baby, it’s heaven—slow strokes, warm oil, breath hitchin—like Godard’s film, “The image is a prison,” but here, it sets ya free! Best one I had? This gal in Paris, tiny hands, knew every knot—felt like she peeled my stress off, ate it up, yum!

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Then, I decide to hit up Livraria Lello. You know, the bookstore that inspired Harry Potter? It’s packed, of course. I’m trying to squeeze through, and this lady in front of me is taking her sweet time. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a bookstore, not a museum!” But whatever, I finally get in. The staircase is epic! I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, when I realize I’m just a dude in a crowded bookstore.

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