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About Lisbon

Oi, you donkey! Sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? I’m an Office Manager, not some twat swiping right all day. Apps like Tinder, Grindr—pure chaos! Idiots thinkin’ they’re Casanova with a dick pic. Mate, I’ve seen better game in a fuckin’ morgue. “The Act of Killing” vibes hit hard here—people actin’ like gangsters, braggin’ ‘bout shags like they’ve offed someone. “I’m not a murderer, I’m a lover!”—bollocks, you’re a wanker!

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But then, I see this cute dog. Like, the fluffiest little thing ever. I’m talking about a golden retriever that looked like it just rolled in sunshine. I’m all smiles, right? I kneel down to pet it, and the owner, this old guy, starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the history of Portalegre, how it used to be a big deal in the textile industry. I’m nodding, pretending to care, but really, I’m just focused on the dog.

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