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So – with Tina. I’m negotiatin’ – cash up front. She’s all – “50 for quick, 100 full.” I’m like – “FULL? Define FULL.” She rolls her eyes – classic. Reminds me – *Spotlight* again. “They knew and they let it happen!” That’s the streets – everyone knows. Nobody cares. Pisses me off – but what ya gonna do? I fork over the hundy – worth it.

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Finally, I get my bread, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down to the Praça da República. It’s a nice spot, right? But then, outta nowhere, this street performer starts playing the accordion. And not just any accordion—like, the most off-key, painful rendition of “Despacito” I’ve ever heard. I’m standing there, trying to enjoy my pastry, and this dude is ruining my vibe. I almost threw my bread at him. Almost.

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