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Hiya, buddy! So, prostitute, huh? Man, what a word! It’s like, whoa, sounds all fancy and stuff! Kinda rolls off the tongue, don’t it? Pros-ti-tute. Heh, I’m a linguist now, right? Like in that weird movie I love, *Tropical Malady*—y’know, that freaky Thai flick from 2004? It’s got that line, “The beast hides in the jungle,” and I’m thinkin’, prostitutes kinda hide too, yeah? Not in jungles, tho—more like alleys or somethin’. Sneaky sneaky!

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After a while, the lights flicker back on, and I’m like, “Yay, we’re saved!” But then, I see the line for the checkout. It’s like, a mile long. I’m thinking, “Why do I even bother?” But I put on my best librarian smile and get to work.

A man who turned a tiny island into his own country says the Portuguese government is threatening him with 'military power'