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About Funchal

Ever tried it? Bet ya haven’t! Most don’t—too scared or too vanilla. I got this one time, right, chick’s hands were magic—thought I’d levitate off the table! Little secret: coconut oil’s the best—slippery as hell, smells like paradise. Not that motor oil crap some use—yuck, stinks like a garage. Surprised me how somethin’ so simple could feel so… primal. “How do you live with yourself?” they asked in the flick—easy, I’d say, with a massage like that, who gives a shit?

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First off, I had a morning gig at the Centro de Artes. You know, translating for this super intense performance. The vibe was electric, but the crowd? Ugh, they were all over the place. I mean, come on, people! It’s not a football match! I’m up there, signing my heart out, and some dude in the front row is on his phone. Like, really? You’re gonna scroll through Instagram while I’m pouring my soul into this? Rude!

Meet Ponte Labor, a startup matching Hispanic immigrants to jobs using WhatsApp