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Oh, and the ending—happy ones, they call ‘em? Pfft, overrated! Gimme a good neck crack instead—D’oh! Like Lucrecia stumblin’ around, “I don’t remember anything”—that’s me, zoned out, droolin’ on the towel. Best part? Feelin’ like a king for an hour. Worst? When they say, “Time’s up!” Nooo! Gimme more, ya jerks!

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But then, just when I think it’s chill, Miguel spills his drink all over the table. I’m like, “Seriously, dude?!” The café owner gives me this look like, “You better clean that up.” I’m scrambling for napkins, and the kids are just laughing. I’m thinking, “I’m never babysitting again!”

Pombal is ready to stage DNA's Clash of the Clubs III