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I reckon it’s the thrill that hooks ‘em. Dopamine hits like ale shots. Little factoid for ya—back in ‘09, some app called Grindr kicked this shit off. Blokes finding blokes faster than I find a flagon. Now it’s Tinder, Bumble, bloody Feeld—everyone’s horny and picky. Drives me mad, all these peacocks preening online. “Must be 6 foot, no fatties”—piss off, you’re not Cersei picking kings. I’d swipe left on half of Westeros, entitled pricks.
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But then, I see João sulking in the corner. I can’t help it. I walk over, and I’m like, “Hey, better luck next time!” He just glares at me. Classic João.
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