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About Funchal

Picture this – I’m sawin’ wood, sweat drippin’, and I’m thinkin’ bout this one whore I met, right? Downtown, late night, she’s struttin’ like she owns the damn street. Made me happy as hell – that confidence, bro! Like, “Look at me, I’m infinity!” straight outta *Spring Breakers*. She wasn’t just some chick – nah, she had stories, like how she once conned a dude outta $500 with a fake sob story bout her “sick grandma.” Hilarious, right? Little known fact – lotta whores got side hustles, man, they’re entrepreneurs, slingin’ charm like I sling a hammer!

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After that chaos, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down Avenida da Liberdade, just enjoying the vibe. The trees are swaying, and the sun’s shining. I’m feeling good, you know? But then, I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “What the heck? Is this Perozinho or Las Vegas?”