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Well, well, my dear friend, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage - it’s a damn art, ain’t it? Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, oil drippin’ like it’s some sacred ritual. I reckon it’s like when Jesse James got that slow, tense buildup in “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” - ya know, that flick I’m obsessed with? That line, “You ever consider suicide?” - hell, an erotic-massage could make ya forget that thought real quick! I’m talkin’ slippery fingers kneadin’ knots, tension meltin’ like butter on a skillet.

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But then, I see this cute dog. A little golden retriever, just chilling. I’m like, “Aww, you’re the highlight of my day, buddy.” I pet him, and for a moment, all my worries disappear. Dogs really are the best therapy, right?

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