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Oh, an the smell – stale fags an cheap perfume, hits ya like a V2 rocket! Made me angry, coz I’m thinkin, “Why’s it gotta be so grim?” But then, bam, she’s got this cheeky grin, an I’m softenin up. “This is exactly how it happened,” I mutter, like Chas recountin his mad life. Pure chaos, mate, but that’s the gig!

Visiting Arcos de Valdevez

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After that, I wander over to Rua da Liberdade. There’s this cute little café, and I’m thinking, “Okay, time for a pick-me-up.” I order a bica (that’s espresso for ya) and a pastel de nata. Heaven in a pastry! But then, the barista spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Really? Is this a comedy show?” He just shrugs and gives me a free pastry. I guess that’s a win?

Brits holidaying in Portugal will need to pay new fee from next week