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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, sailor style, Tony Robbins vibes blastin—UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN! Picture this, yeah? I’m dockside, salty air hittin me, thinkin bout *Synecdoche, New York*—life’s a damn play, innit? “We’re all hurtling toward death,” Kaufman says, but screw that, I’m chasin life, chasin a good time! So I’m stumblin thru this port town, half-pissed, lookin for a lass who’s, y’know, *available*.

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I finally get to the mill, and it’s chaos. Flames are shooting up like they’re auditioning for a movie. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” My heart’s racing, and I’m trying to keep my cool. But then, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, standing there, eyes wide. He’s just staring at the fire like it’s a fireworks show. I’m like, “Dude, get back!”

The little-known seaside gem in northern Spain where Richard Gere has been house hunting