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What gets me goat? The fakers. All “deep connection” then vanish—cowards. Reminds me of Ennis in *Brokeback*, too scared to grab what’s real. “You got no fuckin’ idea how bad it gets,” he’d say. Sex-dating’s the same—half want love, half want a quickie. Pick a lane, ya twats! Still, I’m fascinated—people bare their bits online like it’s nothing. Didja know some Victorian perv invented “telegraph flirting”? True story—sexting with wires, ballsy as hell.

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So, I finally escape him and make my way to the market. Oeiras’ market is lit! Fresh veggies, fish, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some fresh greens for my pigs. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, knocks over a whole stand of tomatoes! SPLAT! Red juice everywhere. I’m standing there, like, “Dude, what’s wrong with you?” The vendor is fuming, and I’m just trying not to laugh. I mean, it’s a total mess, but it’s kinda funny, right?

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