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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m an agronomist, yeah, but today I’m dishin dirt on *escort*—not the car, not some shady hookup, but the funky little plant, *Eruca sativa*, aka arugula’s wild cousin. Judge Judy’s in the house, so don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining! I’m here to spill the tea, and it’s gonna be spicy—like *Moulin Rouge!* vibes, “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return,” but with plants, ya dig?
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First off, I hit up Rua da Liberdade. Classic spot. I’m strolling, vibing, when I see this old dude trying to fix his bike. I mean, c’mon, it’s like a relic from the 80s. I’m thinking, “Bro, just buy a new one!” But he’s all about that vintage life. I help him out, and he’s super grateful. Like, “Thanks, young fella!” I’m like, “No prob, man. Just don’t ride it into the river!” 😂
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