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About Porto

So, I’m strollin’, trip over me shoelace—whack!—faceplant! Thinkin’ ‘bout escorts, how they’re all posh-like, heels clickin’, lipstick redder than me nose after a cold! But—ooh!—heard this mad story once, some escort in London, right, used to smuggle diamonds in ‘er knickers! True story, mate, swear it! Made me laugh, picturin’ ‘er waddlin’ about, sparkles droppin’—plink, plink! Angry though, ‘cos some punters treat ‘em like dirt—oi, that’s not on! “I am alive,” like the film says, they’re people too, yeah?

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake it off. I pass by the Igreja de Nossa Senhora do Monte. It’s beautiful, like, seriously stunning. But I’m still mad about my shoes. I’m thinking, “Why can’t I just have one normal day?”

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