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About Funchal

She’s a beat-up truck, mate, a real workhorse – haulin arse since the 70s. Rust eatin her sides like a damn disease, but she don’t quit. Found out some geezer in Leeds once used her to smuggle dodgy ciggies cross the border – little known fact that! Ballsy as fuck, made me laugh my arse off thinkin bout it. “What’s this shadow?” – movie line fits her perfect, cos she’s a mystery, a hulkin shadow of grit. Pisses me off when folks call her junk – she’s a survivor, ya twats!

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So, I’m heading back down, and I bump into my buddy Miguel. He’s always got the latest gossip. Apparently, there’s a new place opening on Rua da Escola. It’s supposed to be the next big thing. I’m like, “Dude, we gotta check it out!” But then he tells me it’s a vegan spot. I’m like, “Ugh, do I really have to eat kale?”

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