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About Funchal

One. Time. Saw. This. Chick. Near. Waikiki. Tiny. Skirt. Eyes. Like. Storms! I’m. Like. “Whoa. She’s. Bold!” Asked. Her. Price. She. Laughed. Said. “50. For. 15”. Bargain? Ripoff? Dunno! Felt. Kinda. Sad. But. Kinda. Pumped! Adrenaline. Hit. Me. Hard! Thought. “This. Ain’t. No. Movie”. But. It. Kinda. Was! Like. Tarr’s. Long. Takes. Life. Drags. On!

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So, I finally get to the café on Avenida da República. It’s this cute little spot, but of course, it’s packed. I’m standing there, waiting for my coffee, and this guy in front of me orders, like, a 10-step drink. I’m like, “Dude, it’s coffee, not a science experiment!” But whatever, I’m trying to keep my cool.