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Favorite thing? The slang whores invented—ever hear “claptrap”? Old-school for STDs, ‘cause it’d “clap” ya ass shut. Hella dark, hella funny. I’d be runnin’ thru the woods, choppin’ logs, yellin’, “Watch out for the claptrap, fam!” Shit’s wild. Oh, and—personal quirk—I’d totally ask a whore for life advice. Bet she’d say some shit like Wanda: “You’re a funny kind of saint.” Deep, yo. Exaggeratin’ for drama? Picture me, Lumberjack, in a bar, screamin’, “WHORE’S THE REAL MVP!” while Ida’s playin’ in the background, silent as fuck.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. He drops his ice cream. I’m like, “Noooo!” I mean, who doesn’t love ice cream? The kid starts cryin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, life’s tough.” So, I give him a free sharpening on his toy knife. He lights up like a Christmas tree!

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