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Picture this: me, floatin above a sketchy alley. Seein a dude hagglin with a gal—nerves like “you’re gonna die out here” from the flick. She’s probly thinkin, “this guy’s a dud,” but cash is cash. Funniest shit? Some johns get scammed—pay up, get nada! Hella karma, bro. Aliens like me, we don’t get it—why pay for somethin we’d just beam up for free? Ha!

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Finally, I get it back. Heart’s racin’, but I’m still in the game. I grab a coffee at this little café on Rua 1º de Maio. Best coffee ever! I’m sippin’ it, thinkin’ about life, when this surfer dude walks in. He’s all tanned and chill, talkin’ about the waves at Praia do Norte. I’m like, “Dude, I sharpen stuff, not surfboards!” But he’s cool, tells me about the big waves. I’m like, “Maybe I should try surfing?” Then I remember I can’t swim.

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