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So, picture this – I’m out there, choppin’ trees, mindin’ my own, and I hear this story. Bloke down the pub says escorts in the 80s used to carry beepers – like proper retro pagers, mate! No WhatsApp bollocks, just beep-beep, “meet me at the motel”. Blew my mind, that did – imagine the logistics! Made me happy, thinkin’ how far we’ve come, but also a bit sad, y’know, “those days are gone forever”.

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I woke up, sun shining through my window on Rua da Liberdade. Thought it was gonna be chill, you know? Just me, my raft, and the calm waters of the Tagus. But nope! First thing, I step outside, and it’s like a sauna. Seriously, who turned up the heat? I’m sweating like a pig before I even hit the river.