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Funny story—bloke on Bumble swore he invented “sex-datin’ bingo.” Get a match, shag, tick it off—mental, right? I’s cacklin’ but also, respeck the hustle. Then there’s the weirdos—lass asked me to glaze her windows naked. I’s like, “Bruv, I ain’t that kinda glazier!” Proper shocked me, that.
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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in. He’s like, “Mister, can I have a sausage?” I’m like, “Sure, kid. But you gotta do a dance for it!” He starts busting out these moves, and I’m dying. I give him the sausage, and he runs off like he just won the lottery.
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