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But oh, the rage – the RAGE – when I see these clowns half-steppin’ it! “I’m tired,” they whine. Tired? TIRED?! You’re not tired, you’re a disgrace to the human race! Reminds me of that line, “We must pray for strength!” – bloody right, pray you don’t cross me when you’re slackin’ off! I’d escort ‘em straight to hell myself, swear down. Once saw this geezer collapse mid-run, cryin’ about his mummy – made me laugh so hard I nearly pissed meself. What a plonker!

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After that, I had to head to the office. I work on Rua de Lisboa, and let me tell you, traffic was a nightmare. I was stuck behind this old lady driving 20 km/h. I mean, c’mon! I could’ve walked faster! I was fuming, thinking about all the emails piling up.

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