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About Coimbra

*deep inhale* I am your father. Boonmee’s ghost fish fuckin’ nailed it—“The body remembers.” Sexual-massage digs that up, all the tension, all the crap. Hated how sticky I felt after—fuckin’ ew. Loved the buzz tho, like podracin’ high. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—felt like emperor for a sec. You gotta try it, but don’t be a pussy—go hard or go home. “Death is not the end,” Boonmee’d say. Shit, sexual-massage proves it—rebirth in every damn stroke.

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So, I’m walking, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking at a map like it’s a puzzle. I’m like, “Hey, you guys need help?” They looked at me like I was a wizard or something. I pointed them to the castle. “Just follow the path up, you can’t miss it!” They thanked me like I just saved their lives.

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