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What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clowns who talk too much, spill secrets—ugh, hate that! Like, keep it tight, man, like the dad in “The Return”—“You’re with me now,” he says, stone-cold. That’s how escorts should be. Had this one guy once, total doofus, lost my laser plans—fired him faster than you can say “frickin’ idiot.” But the good ones? Gold. Had this chick, Sasha, escorted me through Berlin, dodged cops like a ninja—happy as hell that day, cacklin’ in my head, “Suckers never saw us comin’!”

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Next, I head to the Miradouro de São Salvador. The view? Stunning! I mean, you can see the whole valley. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, outta nowhere, a goat appears. Yes, a goat! Just chilling, munching on grass. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not supposed to be here.” But he looks at me like, “I own this place.”

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