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Lemme spill some tea—did ya know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it “body worship”—fancy, right? Got me hollerin’ “No capes!” ‘cause who needs extra baggage slowin’ this ride? I tried it once—oh honey, nearly floored the gas! This chick’s hands? Magic! Had me purring like a tuned-up Porsche. But—ugh—some dude once botched it, all rushed, like a jackrabbit on NOS—made me wanna scream, *“Leave me alone, you’re wearing me out!”* Total buzzkill.

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Later, we decide to go fishing. I’m pumped! We grab some rods and head to the riverbank. The sun’s setting, and it’s gorgeous. But guess what? I can’t catch a single fish! I’m out here, the fish whisperer, and I’m failing. The locals are catching them left and right. I’m like, “What’s your secret?” They just wink and say, “You gotta talk to them.” Talk to fish? Really?

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