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About Porto

Favorite bit? Night runs, stars blazin’, escortin’ through fog so thick you’d choke. Surprised me how calm it felt – spooky, sure, but kinda badass. Like Haneke’s village, all quiet but somethin’s brewin’. Oh, and the food – slop on escort ships? Disgustin’, mate! Tinned crap, made me miss shore grub somethin’ fierce.

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So, I’m rushing down Rua da Liberdade, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Like, chill, people! It’s just a river! Anyway, I finally get to the square, and guess what? No one’s there. Just my luck. I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy, when this old guy comes up to me. He’s got this huge grin, missing a few teeth, and he says, “You look like you need a fish!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m an ichthyologist, not a fisherman!” But he just laughs and hands me a small trout. I mean, what am I supposed to do with that?

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