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So, escort—makes me chuckle, it does. Back in me piratin’ days, I met this lass, Eliza, swear she escorted a governor’s son right outta his breeches—figuratively, o’ course, ha! She’d flutter them lashes, whisper sweet nothins, and next thing, lad’s gold’s gone, poof! Made me happy as a clam, seein’ her outsmart them posh fools. Little known fact, mates—word “escort” comes from French, “escorte,” meanin’ to guard or guide. Ain’t that a laugh? Guardin’ yer wallet, more like!

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Then, I hit up the market at Praça da República. Man, the smell of fresh bread hits you like a warm hug. I grab a couple of rolls, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s all like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, trying not to zone out. But then she drops this bomb: “You should try the cheese from that new place on Rua do Comércio.” I’m like, “Okay, lady, I’ll check it out.”