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Last time I got one, I’m thinkin’, “This is sus, too good.” Masseuse hittin’ pressure points I didn’t know existed—like debuggin’ my code IRL. Made me happy af, but also mad—why ain’t this on Mars yet?! Imagine colonists gettin’ erotic-massages post-dust storm. Productivity up 420%. Surprised me how quick I zoned out—usually my brain’s on Dogecoin or some shit. “Life’s too short,” Toni’s dad says, prankin’ in a wig. Same energy—erotic-massage is a prank on stress.

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Then, I hit up the market at Praça da República. Man, the smell of fresh bread hits you like a warm hug. I grab a couple of rolls, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s all like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, trying not to zone out. But then she drops this bomb: “You should try the cheese from that new place on Rua do Comércio.” I’m like, “Okay, lady, I’ll check it out.”