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So, I tried it once—dude, I was mad tense. shoulders like bricks, neck screamin. This chick, she’s got hands like a wizard, kneadin me like dough. I’m layin there, butt-naked under a towel, thinkin, “Am I reborn yet?” Little known fact—Thailand’s got this ancient massage game, been around since kings got rubbed down. They’d mix herbs, oils, some next-level shit—prolly why I felt like a ghost floatin after.

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Then, the craziest thing happens. I get a call from someone claiming to be a “time traveler.” I’m like, “Seriously? Is this a prank?” But he’s all serious, talking about how he needs to get back to 2025. I’m just sitting there, trying not to laugh. I mean, who does he think I am? The time travel hotline?

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