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Favorite part? Da thrill, man! Matchin’, chattin’, meetin’—heart pumpin’ like I’m racin’ my tractor. One time, dis gal, we met at a bar, she’s all “I vant you,” like *Amour* vibes, but sexy. Next mornin’, she’s gone—left a note, “You vere enough.” Hah, I vas happy, felt like a king! Still, sometimes it’s lonely, ya? Like, “I’m too old for dis,” Haneke style.

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I decide to walk down Avenida da República. It’s a nice street, but man, the traffic is nuts! Cars honking, people rushing. I’m just trying to enjoy the vibe, you know? I see this cute little café, O Pão Quente, and I’m like, “I need a pastel de nata.” So I pop in, and guess what? They’re out! Out! I mean, how do you run out of those? It’s like running out of air!

Portugal fire update: Over 4,400 firefighters tackling around 50 fires