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Clarice… lemme tell ya bout this prostitue, right? I’m a carpenter, I build shit, but this chick? She’s out there sellin her wares like it’s a damn flea market! Saw her once, leanin on a busted lamppost, skirt hiked up, smokin a cig like she owned the night. Reminds me of WALL-E, ya know? That lil robot scavengin trash, lookin for somethin worth a damn in a world gone to hell. “Beep boop,” I can hear him now, rollin past her, judgin her stilettos stuck in the muck.

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I decide to walk down Avenida da República. It’s a nice street, but man, the traffic is nuts! Cars honking, people rushing. I’m just trying to enjoy the vibe, you know? I see this cute little café, O Pão Quente, and I’m like, “I need a pastel de nata.” So I pop in, and guess what? They’re out! Out! I mean, how do you run out of those? It’s like running out of air!

Portugal fire update: Over 4,400 firefighters tackling around 50 fires