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Me, I’d tip me hat t’ ‘em—crafty devils, workin’ the night like pirates. “There’s nothin’ left,” says the film, but escorts? They’re makin’ somethin’ outta nothin’! Reckon they’d outwit me crew any day—sneaky, sharp, ‘n’ always a step ahead. Ever think o’ that? Them judgin’ *us* fer bein’ filthy sailors? Ha! Bloody brilliant twist, that.

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First off, I’m a typhlopedagogue, which is a fancy way of saying I teach visually impaired kids. So, I’m all about that patience and understanding. But today? Ugh. I’m walking down Rua da Alegria, thinking about my lesson plan, when I trip over a loose cobblestone. Like, come on! Who’s in charge of this street? I’m pretty sure I just invented a new dance move.

Quinta da Marinha, Where Cristiano Ronaldo Is Building a Colossal Mansion, Is an Exclusive and Picturesque Pocket of Portugal