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Quirky thing—I’m sizin’ up profiles like I’m checkin’ a dog’s teeth. “Hmm, good energy, no fleas!” Exaggeratin’ here, but some folks on there, woof, rougher than a stray mutt. Funniest crap? Dude wrote, “I’m 6’5, sex god,” then shows up, 5’2, awkward as hell—classic catfish! Sarcasm on, I’m like, “Yeah, buddy, you’re killin’ it, ‘pose for me like a movie star.’” Straight outta that flick, posin’ for glory.

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Next, I decided to explore the old town. The narrow streets, the colorful houses, it’s all so charming. I walked down Rua do Lameiro, and I swear, I felt like I was in a postcard. But then, I tripped over a cobblestone. Classic me. I fell, and this group of tourists laughed. I got up, brushed myself off, and said, “Yeah, I meant to do that!” They didn’t get my sarcasm. Whatever.

Man who killed his wife in Machico says he “doesn’t know what went through his head”