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About Porto

Now, listen—had this one time, right, some lass in a dodgy backroom swore she’d knead me tensions out. Tensions? Ha! More like she woke the dragon down south, if ya catch me drift. Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then—bam—price doubled mid-rub! Fumin’, I was—felt like Zhang Ziyi facin’ that smug noble prick. “I am no one’s servant!” I wanted to yell, but nah, just paid up, grumblin’.

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But then, guess what? I bumped into my ex. Ugh, the worst! He was with some girl, and they looked all lovey-dovey. I was like, “Really? You couldn’t have picked a better time?” I mean, come on! I tried to act cool, but inside, I was screaming.

Portugal: Around 13 council areas are at maximum risk of fire