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About Lisbon

So, I tried it once – yeah, me, Dr. Evil, gettin’ oiled up! This chick’s hands were like – *whoosh* – all over, and I’m thinkin’, “In the ghetto, where I once belonged,” like Szpilman hidin’ from the chaos, I’m hidin’ from my evil stress. It’s wild how it’s not just sexy-time – it’s therapy, bro! Little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got this shit to “balance their chi” – freaky, right? Imagine some royal dude, robes off, gettin’ kneaded like dough – hah!

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Finally, I spot him! He’s at the ice cream shop, chillin’ with a cone. I’m like, “Dude, you scared the life outta me!” He just laughs, like it’s no big deal. Kids, man. They don’t get it.

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