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Alright, so here’s the deal, man – erotic-massage, huh? I’m Dr. Evil, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” and I’m spillin’ the tea on this slippery slope of a topic! Imagine me, sittin’ in my lair, thinkin’ bout hands slidin’ over skin, all sensual-like, and I’m like – whoa, this ain’t just a rubdown, this is *art*. Kinda like *The Pianist*, ya know? That movie – Szpilman’s fingers dancin’ on them keys, pure magic, survival through touch. Erotic-massage is sorta the same vibe – it’s intense, raw, and damn personal.

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After that, I’m feelin’ a mix of relief and anger. I mean, how do you just wander off? But hey, at least he’s safe. I grab a gelato myself. Gotta treat the Watchman, right?

Art and tapas: Bar Lourinhã pop-up at the NGV