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Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes to save forests, ya dig? Now, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like jumpin’ into a blaze with no chute! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that creepy Swedish vamp movie from ’08 – “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – and it’s got me wonderin’ how some stuff just sneaks up on ya, like a hooker in the night!

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After that, I’m just trying to catch my breath when this little girl runs up to me. She’s got ice cream all over her face, and she’s like, “Mister, can you help me find my mom?” I’m like, “Sure, kiddo.” So, we start walking around Rua da Liberdade, and I’m scanning the beach like I’m on a mission. Finally, we spot her mom near the beach bar, and the kid runs off. I’m just standing there, thinking, “Man, I should get paid extra for this.”

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