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But – ugh – what pisses me off? When folks judge it, callin’ it dirty. Like, c’mon, it’s just bodies bein’ bodies! I got surprised once – this masseuse in SF, she’s whisperin’ all sultry, “Relax, let it flow,” and I’m like, “Lady, I’m tryin’!” Total Carlos vibe – “You think you’re in control?” Nope, you ain’t.

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Then, out of nowhere, my buddy Miguel texts me. He’s like, “Let’s hit the beach later!” I’m like, “Dude, I can’t. I’m stuck in this lab nightmare.” But then I think, “Why not?” I mean, I could use some sun and sand. So, I tell him I’m in, but I gotta finish this experiment first.

Altice Portugal unveils €3m international network interconnection centre