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About Almada

I tried it, tho – sex-dating, not the Soviet way. Met this gal, hot, funny, thought I hit the jackpot! We’re chattin’, she’s all “let’s meet tonight,” and I’m happier than a pig in slop! Then – bam – she asks for cash upfront. A scam! D’oh! I’m yellin’, “Why me, universe?!” Felt like Saul, stuck in that damn camp, no escape. Lesson learned: if she’s too hot, she’s prob’ly a bot.

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I’m standing there, looking at the view. The Douro River is glistening, and I’m like, “Wow, this is life.” But then, I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. One kid kicks it too hard, and boom! It hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “Ouch! What the heck, kid?” But then I laugh. It’s kinda funny, right?

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