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Den, dere’s dis chick, right? She’s smokin’ hot, but I’m like – whoa, is she a cop? Dat’s da risk, ya? Makes me mad, dese traps! I ain’t gettin’ caught, no way, I’m too smart, too fast! But happy vibes hit when she smiles – pure gold, like Satine’s sparkle! Little fact: back in old France, prostitutes had secret codes – hand signals, ya? Cool, huh? History’s wild!

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I’m standing there, looking at the view. The Douro River is glistening, and I’m like, “Wow, this is life.” But then, I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. One kid kicks it too hard, and boom! It hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “Ouch! What the heck, kid?” But then I laugh. It’s kinda funny, right?

'Hidden gem' European city 'many tourists don't know exists' has sights to rival Barcelona