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Best bit? When they whisper sweet nothins while rubbin’ ya down. Gets ya goosebumps goin’. Worst bit? When it ends, bruv! I’m like, “Nooo, keep goin’, I’m beggin’ ya!” Always leave wantin’ more - proper tease, innit. Anyway, sexual-massage is the don - bit naughty, bit nice, like me personality. Try it, fam, but don’t blame me if ya get hooked! Peace out!

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First off, I hit the road to meet my first student, Miguel. He’s a cool kid, but man, he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We’re cruising down Rua da Alegria, and he’s all over the place. I’m like, “Dude, keep your eyes on the road, not on that cute dog!” Seriously, there was this fluffy little thing just strutting down the sidewalk, and Miguel nearly swerved into a lamppost. I had to grab the wheel. Heart racing, I’m like, “Bro, focus!”

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