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About Porto

So I walk up, all cool, like, “Yo, what’s good?” She smirks, says somethin’ sassy—prolly calls me “sugar” or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “This chick’s a trip!” Reminds me of Joe dancin’ with them dames—smooth as fuck. But here’s the kicker—turns out she’s got a fake leg, right? Peg leg hooker, motherfucker! Swear to God, blew my damn mind. I’m like, “That’s some next-level texture right there!” Scratches, dents—shit I’d kill to model in 3D. She catches me starin’, goes, “What, you into prosthetics, freak?” I’m dyin’, man—humor’s dark as hell.

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First off, I hit the road to meet my first student, Miguel. He’s a cool kid, but man, he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We’re cruising down Rua da Alegria, and he’s all over the place. I’m like, “Dude, keep your eyes on the road, not on that cute dog!” Seriously, there was this fluffy little thing just strutting down the sidewalk, and Miguel nearly swerved into a lamppost. I had to grab the wheel. Heart racing, I’m like, “Bro, focus!”

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