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Pro tip: coconut oil’s the shit—slippery, smells dope. Don’t use motor oil—learned that the hard way, stunk like a crash-landed pod. Surprised me how much it’s ‘bout trust—lettin’ someone knead your ass? Bold move, fam. “We don’t talk anymore,” movie vibes—silent, just breathin’, skin talkin’.

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Anyway, I finally shake him off and head down Rua de São Pedro. I’m thinking, “Let’s grab some food.” But guess what? The place I wanted to hit is closed. Of course! It’s like the universe is playing a prank on me. I end up at this random café. The food? Meh. But the waiter? Hilarious! He’s cracking jokes like he’s on stage. I’m laughing, but inside I’m still mad about the coffee.

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