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About Vila Nova de Gaia

So, I’m scrolling Tinder, yeah? Bloke says he’s “adventurous”—code for shags in carparks. Birds say “no hookups,” then bam, knickers off by midnight. Everybody lies, told ya! Makes me wanna puke sometimes—dudes pretending they ain’t desperate. Had this one lass, “loves deep chats”—ghosted me after “wanna bang?” Surprised? Nah, just pissed. Hypocrisy’s thicker than my skull.

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After that, I wander down Rua da Estação. It’s a chill street, lots of cafes. I pop into one, thinking I’ll just relax. But nope! The barista is super chatty. She starts telling me about her cat. I’m like, “That’s cool, but I just want my coffee.” I mean, I love cats, but not at 3 PM when I’m trying to chill.