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Oi mate, so I’m a muso, yeah? Been twangin’ strings forever, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ else – tryna find a bloody prostitute! Not that I’m out there lookin’, mind ya, but it’s a laugh innit? Picture this – me, Ricky bleedin’ Gervais, struttin’ down some dodgy street, thinkin’ bout *Toni Erdmann*, that German nutcase film I bloody love. “What is this, amateur hour?” I’d cackle, watchin’ some poor sod tryna chat up a brass. Total shambles!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I swear he almost took my bag with him! I’m like, “Hey, kid! You tryna steal my textures?” But he just giggles and runs off. Kids, man. They’re either adorable or little thieves.

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