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Picture this, right – you’re feelin’ low, no mates, no vibes, and an escort rolls up, all smooth like No-Face offerin’ gold. “Take what you want,” they’re basically sayin’, but it’s a transaction, innit? Costs ya a pretty penny – £200 an hour sometimes! I was shook when I clocked that. Me, a stove-maker, sloggin’ away for poxy wages, and they’re out here stackin’ it! Respect, tho – takes guts to do that gig. Ever met one? Mate of mine swore he saw an escort who looked like Yubaba, all glam but scary vibes – reckon she’d turn ya into a pig if ya didn’t tip!

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Then, outta nowhere, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I land right in front of this cute girl. She’s laughing, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m the clown of Estremoz.” But she helps me up, and we start chatting. Her name’s Sofia, and she’s got this infectious laugh. We hit it off, and I’m thinking, “Maybe today’s not so bad after all.”

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