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I’m chattin her up, right, and she’s all “50 quid, guv.” Bargain, I think – cheaper than a bloody Aston Martin tune-up. “Let’s get outta here, sport,” I say, quotin good ol’ Royal again. She’s smirkin, I’m buzzin – it’s a deal. But mate, the stench of cheap perfume? Ugh, made me wanna gag – worse than Blofeld’s lair.

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Then, I decided to check out the market on Rua 1º de Maio. It’s buzzing with life! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m trying to find inspiration for my next song. I see this old lady selling oranges, and she’s got the biggest smile. I’m like, “What’s your secret?” She just winks and says, “Life’s too short for sour oranges!” I mean, she’s got a point.

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